Nico (vilakins) wrote,

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Health and Safety on the Deathstar

We've been watching an Australian comedy show called Skit House. They did a brilliant series of sketches about Health and Safety on the Deathstar complete with proper costumes.


Health and Safety on the Deathstar

(from memory)

Scene: a corridor on the Deathstar. A group of storm-troopers jog purposefully by as a woman in a power suit, high heels, and red lippy walks along with a clipboard, pen, and severely critical expression. She locates Darth Vader in his observation room.

H&S Inspector [tight-lipped]: I am not impressed, Lord Vader. I did not expect to see this sort of thing on the Deathstar.

She indicates an enormous and tangled profusion of double electric plugs all running off one wall socket.

Vader: I'm an executive. I can't be expected to bother about minor details.

Next scene: a corridor. A group of storm-troopers stand around smoking and chatting, their cigarettes stuck in their breathing grills. Above them is a smoke alarm which doesn't work. Vader and the HSI approach. The HSI frowns and makes a note.

Vader: Get back to work, you lot.

Storm-trooper: Oh come on, it's smoko, mate. Union rules--

Vader: Hop it!

They disperse. The HSI goes into the loos followed by Vader. If they didn't have a stylised storm-trooper stencilled on the door, they damn well should have. We see a trooper with his back to us at the urinals. The HSI looks around, shakes her head and makes another note.

HSI: Tsk. No facilities for the disabled I see.

Vader starts to explain they're not needed, when a storm-trooper enters in a wheelchair and tries and fails to get it through the too-narrow door of a cubicle, repeatedly bashing it against the door-frames.


I'm sure there was more, but I can't remember. Vader did give the HSI a virtual strangle but she just made another disapproving note on her clipboard when he released her.

We thought of a few more hazards on the Deathstar ourselves. All those sudden drops without safety rails and data sockets exactly like power ones; a distinct danger for the small and unwary robot.
Tags: humour, sf, star wars
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