Nico (vilakins) wrote,
Nico
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Captain Blakey

Due to popular demand--OK, two of you plus Greg--here it is: 'Captain Blakey', my first filk.

It's based on Captain Beaky (and his Band), a song I love and was delighted to find on a CD collection of children's songs and stories we bought last week. If you don't know it, it's a pity as the catchy and stirring music is a major part of its charm--I've had it in my head all week. For anyone interested, the original lyrics (with a couple of small mistakes), are here.

[edit] If you do want to hear the original so that you know the music that goes with it, the mp3 file is here.

***

Captain Blakey (and his Band)

The bravest rebels the galaxy through
are Captain Blakey and his crew.
That's Vila Toad, Avon Rat,
Cally Owl and Jenna Bat.
You'll hear on the viscasts many songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Servie Snake, an evil jade,
kept all humankind afraid,
In fear and trembling every day,
scared she'd have her evil way.

Said Cally Owl, 'We'll teleport
and let one of us be caught."
Said Captain Blakey, "I will go.
Vila, put me down below."

"She fancies me," said Avon Rat,
"in my studded black cravat.
When Servie Snake grabs a hold,
I'll just knock her right down cold!"

"Oh, good idea," said Vila, fast.
"A really cunning plan at last!
We'll wait here at a nice safe distance
until you call for our assistance."

Said Jenna Bat, "I've an idea!
Stationary orbit, right about here.
If Servie Snake should slink on by
I'll neutron-blast her from the sky."

Said Cally Owl, "You aim too wide,
and Avon too might end up fried."
And Jenna Bat abandoned guile,
"I did think of that," she smiled.

Said Owl, "The rest of us stay here.
There's only one she will not fear."
Said Vila Toad, "That plan sounds fun."
"Good luck," said Owl, "for you're the one!"

So Vila Toad, his heart a-sinking,
Off to the teleport went, shrinking.
Captain Blakey went down too,
followed by his trusty crew -
that's Cally Owl and Avon Rat,
while above them orbited Jenna Bat.

"Stop!" said Blakey, "I hear beeping!"
"It's Jenna Bat," said Owl, "watch-keeping.
She's intercepted a transmission
and needs Orac's erudition."

"Decoding now, it won't be long.
I hope that Orac got it wrong.
It says in Federation code,
'Servie Snake has Vila Toad'!'"


"Let's go," said Blakey, "No delay!
"We mustn't let her have her way!"
And rushing off, said "Come on then!"
And headed straight for Servie's den.

"Best be quick," said Jenna Bat.
"I don't much like the sound of that,"
Said Avon Rat, "What is the matter?"
"Well," said Owl. "They're having…a natter!"

Oh, how they desperately knocked,
When they found her front door locked
Until reckless Avon Rat
Drew his gun and blew it flat.

Into Servie's lair they sped.
Were they too late? Was Toad dead?
Said Avon Rat, "I've got my gun.
Well, why should she have all the fun?"

Then into sight the snake came slinking,
a glass of something green a-drinking.
Said Servie Snake, "It must be heaven
with all these Avons, at least seven!"

And then she burped and turned bright red.
Rattled by this slip, she fled.
Said Captain Blakey, "Servie's drunk!
Has our Vila done a bunk?"

At last they found him, blithely thieving
"Oh," he said, "I was just leaving.
On my way, about to bolt,
I came across this nice big vault."

Said Owl, "A clever step to take --
out-drink and burgle Servalan Snake."
"That was cunning, Toad," said Rat.
"Damn, I wish I'd thought of that!"

Said Captain Blakey to his crew,
"I think she's too drunk to pursue."
And then they called for teleport,
While singing praise of Vila's sport.

Then the crew, with common sense,
Set course for their usual fence.
Rat's idea, the clever techo
To sell the goods through Tynus Gecko.

The bravest rebels the galaxy through
are Captain Blakey and his crew.
That's Vila Toad, Avon Rat,
Cally Owl and Jenna Bat.
You'll hear on the viscasts many songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs.

***
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