Nico (vilakins) wrote,

Ficlet: The Discovery of Big Things

astrogirl2 wanted me to write this after a discussion on this post, and since it's her birthday, here it is. :-)

Warning: Spoiler for early season 3, which is where I'm up to.

The Discovery of Big Things

Jarod regarded the giant Pez dispenser with interest. "Unfeasibly large, and probably non-functional. Interesting. After all," he said to the museum employee, "they do advise people not to eat anything bigger than their heads." He got a blank look in reply. "So what does it do?"

"Nothing. Just a big thing, isn't it? Lots of big things about. Lobsters and giant carrots and pineapples and what have you."

"Ah." Jarod nodded. "So the sheer size is the attraction."


He grinned as he addressed a very large carton to Miss Parker. He had thought of sending the Big Thing uninflated, but decided that Parker was not inclined to do that sort of blowing up, so he had acquired a bicycle pump.

He must try out a bicycle one day. It looked like fun.


"Jarod." Parker said flatly and ripped the carton open.

"An inflatable gun!" Broots leaned over her shoulder. "How cute!"

Parker batted him away. "Perhaps to someone who likes funfair prizes. Like you, for example." She pulled the thing out and held it at arms' length to look at it. Jarod had painted it to resemble the gun that had shot her mother, complete with a circle of fire symbol.

"If you don't want it--" said Broots.

"Shut up." Parker whacked him over the head, and the gun emitted an annoyingly cute little squeak.

"How very thoughtful," said Sydney, a smile audible in his voice.

"Not funny, Syd."

"Ah, but the giant inflatable bullets are amusing."

Parker frowned and stirred them about in the carton. Each one had a word on it.

"Perhaps they make a sentence," said Sydney.

Parker gritted her teeth. "Oh, well done, Syd. I would never have thought of that."

But Sydney's quick fingers had already lined up the six bullets. "All women near Lyle need weapons," he read aloud.

"Thank you, Jarod. I'd already figured that one out." Parker squeezed the one labelled "Lyle" until it popped.
Tags: the pretender
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