Nico (vilakins) wrote,

Five drabbles: Talking to Myself

This week's b7friday challenge is to use a Beatles song title. I used six in five drabbles; they're at or near the end of each.

Talking to Myself

Dunno why I stay. It's not as if any of them like me much, not since Gan. Or Cally, though she used to get annoyed too.

Thing is, I've never been on my own, not really. It's crowded in the Delta levels so even when you're alone, you're not. You can always hear music and laughter and shouting through the walls, and then there's the pubs. I always liked being in a crowded bar, all warm and friendly. Made me feel like I was part of something.

So this is better than being alone. In spite of all the danger.


I miss Gan. I miss Cally. I miss Blake and Jenna too, even if she had no more time for me than this lot have. None of them'd miss me though. Funny that. I once told Kerril you can't help liking someone back if they like you, but it doesn't work the other way round.

Wonder where all this sand came from? Dayna only tracked a bit back on her boots. Who cares. Think I'll have another drink.

Nah, they wouldn't miss me. The way things are these days, I wouldn't miss me. I'm gonna sit right down and cry.


It's odd how much it hurts to think about them. They wouldn't have mourned me, you know. All the same, when I think of how alive Dayna was, and the way Tarrant smiled, and how Soolin hardly ever put the boot in--almost counted as kindness, that. I even miss bloody Avon, or at least the glimpses of the old one you could see every now and then.

Stop it, Vila. Stop thinking about it. You said you were making a new start.

It's a strange thing but no matter how hard I try, I forget to remember to forget.


Talking to myself again, but I always did. Always nice to hear a friendly voice and it's lonely out here and a long way from anywhere.

Even with it cut down cut down to small dense planets with large moons and an atmosphere 3000 light-years from Kezarn and on the edge of the galaxy, that's a lot of space to search. I'd go nuts if it wasn't for you, Pooter, old thing. Play me another old song, will you, so I can sing along? The one about the road. That's right, 'The long and winding road'.

Lead me to your door.


Look at you sleeping there.

I really didn't think I'd find you. And even when I hoped I might, I didn't dare think you'd still feel the same way about me. You only knew the best of me, brave and clever like that old Norl said. I didn't think you'd like the rest. And I'm not exactly cut out to be a pioneer, but then you said you wanted me more than a new life. And you said you'd stay with me, even when I'm sixty four.

And now you're waking up, smiling at me.

Oh, Kerril. Hold me tight.
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