Nico (vilakins) wrote,
Nico
vilakins

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On the lake

Today we went out on the lake, first on the tiny restored steamboat Alice from 1870 captained by an eccentric and charming old fellow called Peter Bate wearing a pirate headscarf and red and green port and starboard socks. He turned out to be a retired judge who much prefers restoring and running a steamer. Very cool and a bit Swallows and Amazon as we had tea (made with lake water and heated with steam) and ginger biscuits on board, and he even had a small cannon aft like Captain Flint.

Then we went on a larger and faster boat out to the Maori carvings on a cliff wall about an hour away. They were wonderful, esp the taniwhas (water monsters) crawling out of the water. The skipper however wasn’t one bit charming. He started by telling us that political correctness was banned on the boat, then proceeded to intersperse his commentary with ethnic, racist, and sexist jokes. I think he insulted everyone on board but the Irish girl. He wasn’t even funny, and I’d have rather heard more history and less about the rich bastards who own the houses on the hills and how much they’re worth. He also told us that when the Queen and Duke were last here, he was in the backup boat on a trout-fishing trip, and, getting bored when they had failed to catch anything, put a line overboard and caught a trout. The Queen apparently gave him a filthy look and he got a phone call from her boat saying to lose the fish. When they landed, the duke came over and said not to worry, that he thought it had been funny. “A perfect gentleman,” the guy said, “but I didn’t think much of the Queen.” Well, no, you wouldn’t. She’s a woman for a start, and you already said our prime minister didn’t know which sex she was, presumably because she’s intelligent, tough, socialist, and wears trousers. You would indeed get on well with the duke, another racist right-wing idiot, [spork] With a better commentary, that would have been another excellent boat trip.

On the way to the harbour in the morning though, we walked across a field where some guys were preparing to play Seqway polo. I’ve always wanted to try a Seqway, so we’ve booked two for a guided trip along the Lion Walk round the lakefront tomorrow. :-D

We’re cramming all this in because the weather’s predicted to pack it in soon. Then I’ll do things like painting ceramics, getting hot stone massages, and seeing Hot Fuzz.

Tags: holiday
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