- Grass on a mate
- Kill someone face-to-face (it's just too personal; with the neutron blasters he can pretend the targets are just ships)
- Kill himself no matter how bad things are
- Leave the crew unless he had someone to go with; he's an extreme extrovert and being alone is worse than being in danger with other people
- Become an ascetic
From sallymn: Five songs Avon sings in the shower
- If I Were a Rich Man (from Fiddler on the Roof) though he doesn't understand the bit about the seat by the eastern wall
- Money from Cabaret
- I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
- Band on the Run by Wings
- Brain Damage by Pink Floyd
From mistraltoes: Five things Vila wanted to be when he grew up (other than a thief)
- When he was three: a transporter driver
- When he was five: a space fleet captain, brrrrm brrrrm
- When he was eight: a clown in a travelling circus (and he stole the juggling balls to practise with)
- When he was ten, a great hero, famous all over the galaxy
- When he was twelve, free.
From hafren: Five things Vila would have liked to steal, but didn't
- Tarrant's bodice-ripper collection
- Cally's heart
- Orac's key; he never trusted the plastic rat
- Bayban's wallet
- Scorpio, several times, especially when all the others were on the Space Princess, but he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself. And really, he was more afraid of being on his own than staying with them.
From redstarrobot: Five S3 Vila-and-Cally adventures we never got to see
- Lihan, the Auron ambassador to Lindor, is all over the news when a stripper's naked body is found in his bedroom, suffocated with a plastic bag over her head, while he's at a conference. Cally knows Lihan and that he must have been framed, probably by the Federation who seem to be moving in on Auron, so she convinces Avon to take the Liberator to Lindor. She and Vila teleport down and break into the Federation embassy where she terrifies the cultural attaché into confessing by threatening to fry his brain (and makes a few snide remarks about the oxymoronic nature of his position) while Vila bugs the ambassador's private quarters (and removes a few items of interest) so that Orac can adjust the resulting recordings to his rather lurid specifications. The ambassador is recalled for extreme moral turpitude, the confession is broadcast, and Lihan is very grateful and tells Cally that she would be welcome to return home. Which is why they do.
- Dayna finds out the whereabouts of an independent weapons designer her father knew, and she and Cally go to meet with her. Dayna wants to swap bomb designs and Cally is [particularly interested in hand-held anti-personnel weapons; she misses the Mellanby 3000 she left on Saurian Major. However Servalan is also there to do a deal on plasma grenades and takes them captive. Avon sends Vila down to rescue them, but by the time he finds out where they are, Dayna has blown the door off the cell with a tooth and Cally has terrified the guards by putting ghost-like thoughts into their heads so they panic and start killing each other. Vila is very annoyed that his expertise was not required, so Cally suggests he acquire the arms they want without any money changing hands and that cheers him right up.
- Cally's moon-disc is pining (and shrivelling) away and though she and Vila talk to it, Cally realises that it belongs back on Zondar, and Avon doesn't have any better plans. The 'gardens' there have been destroyed but there are still plenty of feral moon-discs and Cally and Vila teleport down to the far side from the gardens. There they discover that an unscrupulous jeweller is trading in preserved moon-discs made into necklaces, and he's not restricting himself to those that have died a natural death. Cally shoots him and blows up his plant which even Vila won't take anything from--he rightly regards the beautiful gems as corpses--but he does make a suggestion to Cally. Which is why she has a new ivory necklace not long afterwards. The moon-discs sing a song of joy as they leave that becomes a planet-wide paean that Cally can still hear several light-years away.
- The crew have nothing better to do (as usual) so they actually make it to Del 10 (which Tarrant is very chuffed about). Vila disobeys Avon and goes off on his own and promptly disappears. Avon suspects foul play as Vila's teleport bracelet isn't working, and Cally, worried about Vila, volunteers to look for him because she can often read emotions from him. She traces clues (as she did 'Mission to Destiny', but this time in classic film noir style) through the classy joints and mean streets of Del 10's biggest city and runs him down in Ma Klein's Boarding House for Theatrical Professionals, where he's living while performing as a juggler at a circus. Vila is not happy about being found but a few affectionate insults from the crew (who are surprised to find they're pleased to get him back) mollify him a little. (Yeah, another tinkly bit™.)
- Avon goes to see an 'old friend' and, surprisingly, finds the invitation is a trap. Cally convinces Vila to help her rescue him, and several explosions and random thefts later, they get Avon back and Cally kills the 'friend' during a bitter altercation during which he attempts to shoot Avon. Avon is touched by their loyalty which restores his faith in people who never use the word 'friend' about him--until S4 anyway.