Nico (vilakins) wrote,

Character meme answers, part 1

I decided to answer the secret character questions in a separate post like astrogirl2 because it's easier to read. If I get more questions, I'll answer them tomorrow.

snowgrouse asked:

Roj Blake, Kerr Avon and Garak go on holiday on a tropical party planet. What happens?

Hmm, Blake would bore the natives silly trying to convince them that revolution is more worthy than hedonism, and Avon would be quiet and introverted--but pig out seriously on ice cream on the beach while fully-clothed; he feels the cold. Garak goes to fashion shows for tailoring tips and unwinds with a savage and underhanded game of beach paintball (all participants in swimwear).

Stark, Noranti and Vir Cotto are being threatened by a bunch of Daleks. How do they survive?

  • Stark would do his nut and totally confuse them. "Germinate? What, those stud things are buds? Oh, exterminate? Hezmana, you think I'm out of practise crossing people over? Tell you what, I've HAD ENOUGH, YOU HEAR ME?" [runs riot with a massive piece of ordnance in each hand.
  • Noranti would blow a little herbal dust at them, take one by the plunger, and say, "You're just in time, dear. Moya's starboard bogs are a little backed up."
  • Vir's eyes would bug out and he'd run for it.
astrogirl2 asked:

Starbuck (Kara Thrace) and Garak are stuck together indoors on a rainy day. How do they pass the time?

They start by playing cards, but when Starbuck catches Garak cheating, hot words fly and Garak impugns the design and cut of Starbuck's clothes; she challenges him to a fist-fight; he suggests a VR duel instead. They end up the best of friends.

Chiana shows up on Jenna Stannis's doorstep one day out of the blue asking for a place to sleep. Why does Chiana need a place to sleep, and how does Jenna react?

Chiana had to leave the Hynerian empire in a hurry because she got bored and being found with the crown jewels is punishable by death. Jenna is delighted, offers her a free trading partnership, they spend the proceeds on a souped-up reconditioned pursuit ship, and do a roaring trade.

What do Roj Blake, Vila Restal & Data buy each other for Christmas (or the other holiday of their choice)?

For new year (in the new calendar), Blake gets Vila a new tool kit to replace the one he left behind when rescuing Sarkoff, and gives Data a voucher for one free overhaul from Avon. Vila gives Blake a new watch (new to Blake, anyway) and a hand-tooled leather wallet he made from an old pair of Avon's trousers, and to Data, a hand-painted bowl and some cable outers with the wires removed for Spot to play with (cats love those). Data gives Blake a download of everything on Federation history he has on his HD, and Vila a list of the Enterprise crew's favourite jokes.

lizamanynames asked:

So, how unlikely is it for Data to perform oral sex on Kerr Avon?


Is Avon really that much sexier than Garak?

No. Garak's heaps hotter.

If Vir Cotto had Avon alone in a room, what would happen?

Not a lot. Vir would bumble about, ringing his hands nervously and trying to be nice, then Avon would fire a salvo of snark and poor Vir would be mortified into silence and probably leave, deciding that Narns are much nicer to deal with.

Is it really true love between Blake and Jenna? Could it ever be?

It is, but on one side only. No.

What the hell is wrong with Starbuck (Kara Thrace)?

Not a lot (I mean, look at her!) unless you count cigar breath and stress from flying too many Raptor missions back-to-back.

How would Stark die and how would he/she be remembered?

Peacefully in his bed, surrounded by friends and family, with a Stykera to help him to his destination. He'd be remembered variously as a great hero, the mighty Banik who fought beside Crichton, a kind fellow, a raving nutter, a good and faithful friend, and someone who left a big Stark-shaped hole behind.

G'Kar, Vila Restal, Londo Mollari, Noranti, Jean-Luc Picard, and Cally form a sports team. What sport do they play, and who else do they invite if they need more players?

Blimey, I can't see most of those playing anything physical! I know, Galactic Monopoly! The B7 lot would get Avon and Jenna in, and Picard would ask Data who would find the concept fascinating and beat them all flat.

sallymn asked:

Aliens want to observe a Bonding Ceremony, and the 'observees' must be chosen from Starbuck, Data, Cally, Noranti and Blake. [a] Which two would you choose and [b] do you think would volunteer for the 'fate worse than death'... and who would they choose?

[a] Data and Noranti because neither would give a damn and it would be funny.
[b] Noranti would volunteer because she knows no shame, and she'd choose Blake. Bwahahahaha!

Stark, Vila, Londo, Picard, and Chiana are stuck on a desert island. Who would get murdered first and why?

Wow, that's a mixed bunch! I don't think any of those are capable of murder, though I can imagine Stark or Vila would be the most annoying. But they're also lovable, so I don't think they'd be murdered. They're probably the most likely to kill themselves accidentally though. :-(

shimere277 asked:

Noranti is hired to work for Blake. Do they make a good team, or are they at each others' throats after a week?

Bwahahaha! OK, Blake would be bellowing at Noranti within a day and she'd be serenely causing chaos in the Liberator's galley while everyone demands that she be put off the ship, but after a while they'd all love her. Vila would call her Gran, Cally would learn herbal lore from her, Jenna would admire her toughness, Avon would dislike her intensely, and Blake would therefore want to keep her. Besides, I think he'd end up respecting her a lot.

Jenna is asked to sing at the wedding of Vila and Cally. What song does Jenna sing, and how long does the marriage last?

[boggles] Jenna sings "When I'm 64" because she knows the disparity between human and Auron lifespans and she has a mean sense of humour. The marriage lasts till Vila meets Kerril ("But she was the only girl on the world, Cally!" and Cally divorces him in a snit (Avon officiates, as he did at the wedding as acting ship's captain).

hobsonphile asked:

A plane crashes into an isolated mountain range, and Blake, Avon and Vir are the only survivors. Are they rescued before they succumb to the harsh mountain climate? If so, how? If not, why not?

They rescue themselves. Avon cobbles together a flyer from the wreckage which proves to be faster, more efficient, and stylish than the original plane, to distract himself from Blake denouncing Centauri aristocracy and feudalism to Vir, Vir on his part mildly agrees and then tells Blake how to run an underground railroad without tracks.

hobsonphile asked:

Vir Cotto is appointed to the position of Special Advisor to the Wildlife Preservation Committee for Earth. Subsequently, several species mutate into alien life forms. Was Vir responsible, or napping on the job, or was it the work of Garak in secret?

Definitely Garak, though Vir wasn't exactly on the ball. There was no profit in it for Garak other than keeping his hand in (one must practise intrigue) and a small side-bet with Bashir that he couldn't create a real Daffy Duck to give to Garibaldi (he succeeded). Vir was just relieved he'd left the furry ducks alone; they were perfection as they were.

These took a while. OK, it's midnight and time for bed.
Tags: meme - fannish
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