Rant (someone else's) and response

One of the finance people at work went on holiday on Wednesday and set her e-mail to give an out-of-office reply listing all her colleagues who can deal with what she does. A nutter who objects to the tax being taken out of his dividend payment (as is the usual practice) promptly sent in an abusive e-mail to everyone she listed.

Here's the original one he sent, which he quoted:

I have been on about this for moths now , last week and urgent message was sent to you regarding my concerns and i was told to expect an email from you within 24 hours .. nothing

I called again to day was put on hold then the phoneline was disconnected finally someone gave me you email address

Inland revenue has no record of any dividend payments to my account from you for the last 4 years .. i guess i ghave given an incorrect ird number

i would like to discuss these issues with you please respond so we can communicatte

regards Cameron .

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE RESPOND TO TH8IS ISSUE .. I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR MONTHS AND STILL NO ONWE WILL RETURN MY CALLS OR EMAILS .. YOU HAVE TECHNICALLY DRIVEN ME TO ANGER ..

CURSE YOU

NOW SOMEBODY PLEASE REPLY

Dear Mr Keystroke,

Thank you for your courteous email. I am very sorry to hear that you have taken months to find the correct person to talk to and doubly sorry to tell you that, half an hour before the arrival of your email, she left on a break for nearly two months. Whilst technically the use of bold and caps has communicated your frustration and anger very well, I’m afraid it has also frustrated and angered those of us who have not yet had anything to do with your difficulties and so we may not be well disposed to you personally. May I suggest font size 12, normal format and perhaps even the use of a spell checker.

We actually don’t really have a clue what you’re asking; we just process the dividend payments in an industry standard format. Sorry that you messed up your tax records.

Yours,
[his name]