Nico (vilakins) wrote,

Badfic: Suzy Mar

Just catching up on my crossposting. This was for the Mary Sue badfic challenge on b7friday a couple of weeks ago. 780 words set mostly in season 2.

Suzy Mar

"There's someone following us," announced Vila. "Not Federation, though."

"Close-in view on rear sensors, Zen," ordered Jenna, tossing back her blonde mane. She frowned at the image on the screen. "That's a personal craft from one of the non-Federated worlds. Lindor, Ataro, or Stryli, I'd say. And it's got one hell of a spin on it."

"It is hailing us," Cally volunteered.

Blake gnawed his knuckles. "Find out what they want."

The Auronar girl nodded and flicked a switch.

"Liberator!" A woman's rich, warm contralto filled the flight deck. "Permission to dock?"

"Only if you cut that spin." Jenna's hands were already flying over her control panel.



The whole crew went to the docking bay to meet the new arrival. As she stepped out of her ship, they gaped, momentarily rendered speechless. Her appearance was stunning: violet eyes set in a creamy-complexioned, heart-shaped face surrounded by clouds of dark auburn hair shot with golden highlights which were repeated on the skin-tight cerulean flight suit she wore. This vision bestowed a smile on them. "Hello, everyone. I've been looking forward to meeting you for so long. I'm Suzy Mar."

Vila spoke first. "What happened to your eyes?"

"The artificial grav failed so I had to spin the ship to generate centripetal force; lucky I have a physics degree. 70rpm may have been a tad high: I bled into my eyes a little." Suzy shrugged blithely. "But then it's like having rose-coloured spectacles; you all look in the pink."

Avon did not return her smile. "As you do not."

"You'd probably be a bit pale too if you'd been plastered to the wall of a space-yacht for a week," Suzy responded tartly.

"That would explain the hair too," theorised Jenna.

"No. That would be the static." Suzy tried to flatten the riotous tangle in vain. "And the orange juice that got loose when the gravity went." Grimacing, she wiped her hands down her azure flight suit. Vila's eyes followed them over her curves avidly and when he realised that the golden spots were not part of the pattern, he considered offering the Liberator laundry and shower facilities; more precisely, his. He licked his lips and felt faint.

"Why were you following us?" Blake demanded as he ushered their visitor in the direction of the flight deck.

"To join the crew, of course! I heard about Olag Gan so I knew there was a vacancy."

"Hmm." The rebel leader did not look impressed, and behind them (for the view), the little thief winced.

"Besides the astro and quantum physics, I'm very good at computers--"

Avon glowered. "That position is taken," the dark-haired comptech pointed out as they descended the steps.

Suzy looked around and clapped delightedly. "Just as I imagined! Oh and I'm a fairly decent pilot too."

Jenna cleared her throat and folded her arms.

"Well, you could always do with two." Suzy gave her a friendly smile. "It would free you for missions. It must get awfully boring being stuck on board."

The blonde pilot considered this. "Hmm."

"But I have no intention of replacing any of you," Suzy announced. "I thought my advice would be far more useful."

Blake's brows lowered. "Advice?"

"Of course! Look, you've been blowing up little communications posts on out-of-the-way planets when you could strike right at the heart of the Federation."

"We just tried that," growled the burly rebel.

"Oh, but you don't even have to go there!" Suzy pounced on Orac. "Not with the only computer on the wanted lists and the best comptech in the business!"

Avon's expression softened slightly.

"All of the Federation runs on tarial cells. You can subvert the economy, issue bogus orders to Space Fleet, divert entire payrolls to your account--and Servalan's, then make it public." Suzy dimpled at them all. "What d'you think?"


"Well, I thought it was a good idea," Vila mourned as Suzy's rakish little yacht pulled away from the Liberator. "And it was mean, just throwing her off the ship like that." Suzy had liked him. She had smiled at him and hadn't insulted him once.

"We fixed her grav-generator." Avon objected. He turned to Blake. "Just what was wrong with her scenario?"

"It's underhanded. It is not how you run a rebellion."

"In other words, you didn't think of it."

"We shall keep to the time-honoured methods," the curly-haired leader responded with dignity.

"And explosions are much more fun, Vila." Cally smiled at the hapless thief.


"I suppose," mused Vila some time later, trying to see the bright side, "if we'd done what that Suzy wanted, we'd've been overrun with green jelly."

Avon gave him a rare smile. "There is that."
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