Nico (vilakins) wrote,

Birthday ficlet: Grey

This story serves a double purpose: it's for redstarrobot who wanted explosions, aliens, and fast ships, and it's a birthday prezzie for snowgrouse who's wanted these two characters together for a while.

Happy birthday, Grousie!


"Mmmm, you're cute!"

Someone grabbed Vila from behind--well, just grabbed his behind, really--and breathed on his neck. He froze, his probe in his hand. Not a standard Federation trooper tactic, that. He turned around cautiously.

The alien girl did a sort of shimmy and giggled. "And even cuter from this side." Her voice was as slinky and sexy as she was. She stepped closer so that the fur trim on her skin-tight outfit tickled his hands. She was all shades of grey, just like Avon said the universe was.

"Uh, ever considered red fur?"

"Red?" Her tongue--surprisingly that colour itself--came out and licked her lips. "Would you like that?" She ran a finger down his cheek.

Vila swallowed.

She touched her finger to the end of his probe. "Ooh, look. We're in the same profession."

"Are we?" Vila remembered why he was here. "Oh, yes, I'm meant to be on the other side of that door by now." He started working on the lock again.


"Eh? Oh, you can have whatever's in there. I'm not here to take anything. Quite the reverse." Vila opened the door and started pulling bombs off his belt. "And the sooner I leave these here, the better. Or just leave here for that matter."

The girl put her head on one side. "You're going to blow it all up? A shadow depository?" She pouted. "There isn't much profit in that."

"Well, shadow's bad stuff." Vila pointed to some golden balls on a table. "Stunts your growth and besides, it's made of moon discs. I happen to like moon discs."

She picked one up, licked it. "That's shadow? Mmm, tasty." She shoved a handful in her pocket. "No money? Frell. Crichton said this was the wrong universe. We'll have to starburst again."

Vila regarded the safe in the corner thoughtfully. "I dunno, might be something in that. We have a couple of minutes up our sleeves and I'd hate to see a lady disappointed."

"Lady?" The girl gave a throaty giggle. "Hezmana, have you got the wrong Nebari!" Her eyes widened when she saw the contents of the safe. "Ooh, pretty." She grabbed a handful of sparkling jewellery. "Much nicer than minutes, whatever those are," she said, putting on several rings and bracelets, and holding out her arms to admire them.

"And now," said Vila, pocketing some himself and taking her arm, "we get out of here before it blows."

Once outside and safely over a ridge, he threw himself on the ground. The alien girl landed on top of him, rolled him over, and locked her legs around him. "Explosions," she said huskily, her face so close that Vila couldn't focus on her, "always excite me."

"I could learn to love them under the circumstances," Vila said and flung his arms around her--

--but too late. There was nothing above him but air and the teleport bay ceiling.

"You took your time," Jenna said from behind the controls. "Napping on the job? I expected you to call in before now. You're the last one back."

"Something came up," said Vila, sitting up and looking at his extra bracelets regretfully. "Fancy some sparklers?"

Jenna laughed as she took a bracelet, then lifted a necklace over his head. "Only you could think of stealing something at a time like this."

"It was the last thing on my mind, actually."

"Frell!" said Chiana as she hit the ground. "Where'd he go?"

When the shadow store went up on screen, Vila watched Cally instead. He saw the excitement in her eyes and took her hand.

"Vila!" Cally snatched it away.

Oh, well. Worth a try.

"Take us out of here, Jenna," said Blake. "Standard by 12. I don't know what that ship is out there, but it looks fast."

Down on the planet, Chiana capered and laughed as the shadow plant blew to smithereens.

"There you are, Pip," said Crichton, emerging from the smoke all in shades of grey himself. "Wouldn't you just know it. Wherever I go, things blow up in my face." He wiped some soot off it. "I'm starting to feel a tad paranoid."

"Poor Crichton." Chiana flashed her hand at him. "I much prefer my carbon like this."

Tags: crossovers
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