Nico (vilakins) wrote,

A fistful of fics

And now for something completely different. Last week on b7friday it was strange combinations, and I used spacefall's bonk generator to get mine. Five ficlets and drabbles, all 100 or 150 words each, and all of them gen.

Og and Blake in a cosy log cabin with a rubber glove

Blake stoked up the fire and sat back in his armchair, exhausted after a day of trying to rouse rabble who didn’t need it. The Thags were not the experimental subjects of the scientist Justin, but were in fact running their own research to see what lengths he'd go to in order to gain status among his own kind. Blake shook his head, amused. He'd move on to Jevron soon, but in the meantime he was Og's guest in their carefully-hidden village.

In his kitchen, Og carefully filled a rubber glove with cold water, then crept into the lounge and laid it against Blake's neck. The results were satisfyingly spectacular.

"You'd get on well with Vila." Blake picked the chair up and sat back down. "But you know, sometimes practical jokes can go too far."

"Don't worry," said Og. "If you mean that fool Justin, we know when to stop."

Soolin and Avon on the beach with a jar of chocolate syrup

"You look as if you're getting quite a tan," said Soolin. Well, Avon looked less blindingly white than he had before.

"Yes. Vila gave me something for my skin."

Soolin picked up the jar beside Avon, sniffed it, then put her finger in it and licked it. "Avon! You put chocolate syrup on yourself!"

Avon put his spade down, "Of course I didn't. Do you really think I'm that gullible? Vila stole a tube of SPF128 from the hotel."


"The syrup's to hold the sand together. There--" Avon sat back on his heels in satisfaction, "--a perfect Liberator!"

Orac and Krantor in a chalk pit with a feather duster

"Might I point out that I am hardly at my best?" said Orac. "There are foreign particles abrading my more delicate parts."

"It's got chalk dust in it." Verlis tossed Krantor a feather duster.

Krantor glared and sullenly gave Orac a desultory wipe. His wig drooped in the heat and so did he. Toise was recouping the money Krantor had lost to those two cheats by selling him in a job lot on Domo with the computer one of them had dropped.

"Any offers?" Verlis looked around.

"Fifty vems the pair," Servalan said languidly. She smiled at Krantor.

Oh, no.

Jenna and Keiller on a space shuttle with a bunch of grapes

Jenna stood to attention, smiling fixedly as the latest batch of tourists passed her and the purser to board the Space Princess.

When they had all gone, Keiller lingered. "So you're the new shuttle pilot."

"That's right," Jenna said, removing her uniform cap.

Keiller leered, smoothing his scarlet tunic over his bulk. "I'm the purser, pretty lady."

"So I gathered. And it's Flight Lieutenant Klein."

"May I be the first to welcome you to the Space Princess, then? I'll arrange a seat for you at the captain's table tonight." Keiller smiled. "Beside me."

Jenna sighed. He would be trouble. "Just a bidit." She went into the cockpit and found the bunch of grapes she kept for these occasions, peeled two large ones, and inserted one in each nostril. She went back out. "I hobe you dode mide that I've got a code."

Keiller blanched at the sight. "Another time perhaps."

Piri and Jarriere in the shower with a whip

Jarriere worked conditioner through his hair, then angled his head back and luxuriated in the hot stream of water. Despite his pleasure though, all his senses went on full alert when he detected movement in the steam.

"It's just me." Piri, stepping into the next shower and turned on the water. "Ohhh, that's good."

There were plenty of shower cubicles in the Teal Star's gym and Jarriere was the only one using them. Why was Piri next door? Jarriere reached for his towel and was ready when the mechanical crab crawled over the top of the divider. With a quick whip-like motion, he snapped his towel, knocking the thing back to Piri's side. "I do the tech work on this job, lass, and you do the assassination. We still get 50% each. No cheating."

"You can't blame me for trying," said Piri.

Or me. Round six would start that night.

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